Description: IT: It happened in the quiet little of Muddlescombe in Surrey

Opening scene of man sitting against a wall outdoors with hat covering his face and beer bottle by his side. He appears to be asleep.

IT: Mooney was the village idiot but, Mooney claimed he was the only one who was not

A man appears from behind the base of a tree looking slightly dishevelled and winking at camera. A bird singing on a roof. The dishevelled man is rummaging on the round picking up stones for a catapult and aiming at the bird on the roof. He takes several attempts but misses. He dislodges several slates from the roof which fall on the man sitting by the wall who looks perplexed as to where they have come from. A church clock strikes 6pm and the man by the wall checks his watch and walks to the pub.

IT: Miss Lucy Tattle wanted to reform the village but Sam Cody would have his quart at six sharp. The dishevelled man sees Miss Tattle turning the corner and she stops to read a notice about dangerous structures on a post. The dishevelled man takes aim with his catapult and knocks the hat off her head. She turns and raises her fist at the man as he runs away. A vicar is seen studying a piece of paper and looking extremely worried.

IT: The estimate for repairs to the village hall is £80. The vicar's stipend is £50. In other words...

IT: Miss Tattle to see you sir

IT: The vicar tells the maid to tell her he's out

Miss Tattle enters the room and shakes his hand.

IT: It's about that boy Mooney. He's ...

Miss Tattle talks to Vicar waving her hands.

IT: Tut, tut. But his worse trouble. Read that....

The vicar is showing her the bill, extending his arms wide to show how expensive it's going to be. Miss Tattle excitedly taps the vicar on the head.

IT: I got it. We'll hold a fete and raise the £80

The vicar excitedly smiles and shakes the hand of Miss Tattle.

IT: It was to be a grand affair. Sir Guy and Lady Mainsway promise to attend

A man is seen nailing a poster for the grand fete onto a tree. The church clock strikes 6pm and the man walks away. Miss Tattle approaches the sign on the tree to read. The man walks to the pub and she watches him go in. Another woman (with an ear trumpet) approaches Miss Tattle to talk to her. They both walk away from the tree.

IT: Everyone I've seen has promised to come to the fete

Two women walk down the village lane.

IT: So glad to hear you're coming Mrs Dobbie

They meet another couple.

IT: It's so kind of you Mr Black to agree to take the money at the gate

The two women meet the dishevelled man who talks and gestures toward them. The vicar is seen outside his church reading a book with a note. The vicar approaches the two ladies and raises his hat and speaks into the ear trumpet.

IT: I was just saying I wondered if you would honour us at tea today vicar

He shakes his head and apologises, pointing that he has somewhere to be

IT: Miss Tattle invites the ladies to tea to view their presents to the dear vicar AND a little scandal

A number of ladies are seated around a table drinking tea and eating sandwiches. A woman speaks into the ear trumpet and a number of conversations are taking place. A woman reads from the paper and it is handed around for other women to read. They seem excited by the article. More sandwiches and cake are eaten. One woman in a white hat seems to be eating a large number of sandwiches. She takes the last item from the plate.

IT: Oh, I nearly forgot. The vicar's present. These lovely slippers.

A pair of slippers is taken from a box and handed around and admired by the group. Who applaud the slippers as they are put back in the box.

IT: Can you imagine how sweet he'll look in them?

The women continue to talk.

IT: The day of the fete arrives

The dishevelled man is seen trying to gain entry to the fete by the gate.

IT: You've got to pay the same as the rest

More visitors arrive and gain entry to the fete. The disheveled man holds the gate open for them. A family of three arrive and a small boy gains entrance without paying. A woman arrives and pays her entry fee. The dishevelled man talks to Mr Black at the gate.

IT: That'uns a dud

As Mr Black further examines the coin the dishevelled man runs into the fete

IT: The vicar opened the fete and tried everything

Various scenes of the vicar and people at the fete. A model railway is seen full of well dressed fete attendees with the vicar at the front, saving his hat and smiling to the crowds. Further scenes of the vicar on the see saw, the swings and big slide.

IT: Later in the village hall the result of the fete was to be announced

In the hall a gentleman and lady are seen stepping onto the stage. As they do so the dishevelled man removes the box holding the slippers.

IT: Now Sir Guy will sit there, Lady Mainsway there and ....

The dishevelled man is chased away from stage by Sir Guy and Lady M.

IT: At last everyone was in place

The vicar's speech is rapturously received.

IT: My dear friends. I am indeed pleased to tell you we have collected £39.2s.1p

Further applause and the vicar holds his hand up to silence everybody.

IT: And Sir Guy has promised me a cheque for the balance for the repairs.

Further closeups of people cheering and clapping. Sir Guy hands over a cheque to the vicar who looks extremely pleased. Sir Guy whispers into the vicar's ear.

IT: I think Miss Tattle wishes to make you a presentation on behalf of the ladies

The vicar looks surprised. The dishevelled man can be seen opening the box and putting the slippers on his feet. Miss Tattle presents the vicar with the box and says a few words in appreciation.

IT: And we hope we shall have the pleasure of seeing you wearing them.

The vicar opens the box and pulls out a pair of ladies' knickers. Scenes of people looking shocked while others are laughing.

IT: The End